.............my husband seems to think his is mild. I know he is crawling in his hole right now, when I cry my eyes out and he's making a sandwiche and prepping his next movie. He may be feeling at the time nothing he does or doesn't do is "right." His protective mechanism of saying nothing, doing nothing that wounds my spirit. Not participating and disregarding a human being all together is the worst.
I know society walks by the homeless all the time and figure they've done something or not enough as a result of them being there. I'm his wife, the mother of his son, how about a little empathy and/or reassuring bullshit phrase that things will work themselves out. It's been a long time since I've been in this much emotional pain and I just can't seem to run away from this one. I'm drowning in my tears and sadness with no outlet. There is no reaching my husband, he's only there for the honerable deeds like working and bringing home money. His way of coping with the same worry. I guess for now that should be good, be my focus, my coping repetitive thought, if I don't want my kids to feel what I'm feeling now in my heart. I'm a Mom to my kids and that's gonna be it for me. They are my drive, my strength. That's what they need and I have to be there, no matter what I feel or the emptyness I want to escape from. We have had so much stress, life has been hard on us the last year, especially. It doesn't seem life wants to give us a break until we've learned to work through these lessons together, as one. We still butt heads a lot, letting off steam I guess but in the end I'm sure we will be stronger. Right now it seems hopeless trying to get along.
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