The holidays are here, it's a special time of year.

My brother passed away a few days before Thanksgiving about 6 years ago. On top of this hardship on our immediate family, I have been asked to join my mother and brother in Thanksgiving dining, two people with who I haven't spoke with, since August. 

The family use to gather with relatives for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Remembering those loved ones that are missing presently became a reason to do our own celebrating in smaller groups. There was an ackward kind of avoidance/sadness that we pretended wasn't there. If there was an Egg Nog bowl allowed, I'm sure we all would of parked there, instead of around the Christmas Tree. No disrespect to my fam. It's just, a few years ago, it was very depressing because the family line had been at a screeching halt for awhile. The pressure was on, the looks given to me and my siblings to-do-the-nasty and supply some offspring, is a comical way of describing a perspective, that had no comical view at the time. Maybe it doesn't still. Thank God for children, this time of year it's especially about them. We have four beautiful children to enjoy this year.

My holiday tradition is to reflect back to where I was a year ago. I don't believe in waiting for New Year's Eve to resolve those areas that need work on in my life. I think if there is work needed it should be addressed at the appropriate time. In this statement I am facing a decision that will make some people happy and some disappointed. But all in all, I have to stick to my guns. I believe my decision will be in the best interest of all. In my mind spending time with the four of us seems more positive and warm this year for the holidays. This year is my sister's turn to be with our family instead of her in-laws. Her and her family are welcome to be a part of our holidays in anyway that works for them. But I will have to decline spending time with my mother and brother. Vanessa will not be caught in-between or made to feel bad for whatever decision she makes on how she spends her holiday. I think she is the most frustrated with me about this. My initial thoughts were like hers but I can't turn my morals and values off when it's inconvenient for her.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!